Patreon Launch!

Well… it’s been a hot minute, hasn’t it? I’m not sure anyone follows this blog anymore, but I figured I’d update you all if you do!

If you follow me on Tumblr/Twitter you may have noticed that I’ve diversified what I write, AKA I got sucked into fanfiction for the first time in my life. A little over a year ago I was in a hell of a dark place–I’d lost all hope of being agented and pursuing traditional publishing yet again, my herniated disc situation had no hope of any relief from the pain, I didn’t know what I could do for a job when I could hardly sit up, among many other things. And I couldn’t even escape into books because picking up a published book reminded me how I failed writing in every way. (Regardless of whether or not I actually failed, it felt like it–still feels like it sometimes.) They would make me physically ill to read, which I know is ~dramatique~, but it was just years and years of being beaten down piling up on me, and I didn’t know what to do.

And then I was scrolling through Tumblr, and happened across a short ficlet of Yuri!!! on Ice fanfiction. Typically I just scroll past stuff like this on my dash, but when I saw it I remembered how happy that show had made me, how good it was. So I indulged. For months. And probably millions of words. And for the first time in a while, I felt somewhat happy? Most people equate fanfiction with being mindless, bad smut, but I’ve found stories that are more intricate and breathtaking that I’d ever read of anything published, regardless of the rating. These authors break the rules and the mold to create masterpieces that are free.

It’d been years since I’d actually really wanted to write, but I wanted to give back to this wonderful community that dragged me out from the depths of hopelessness and helplessness and possibly also purposefully write something that could never be published and was super indulgent and fun.

So I wrote a fic. Then one fic turned to two, then to three, then more and more until we end up here? Somehow??? I have a mildly popular fic under my belt, an amazing Discord server, and I’ve gotten the opportunity to share my original work again through, Patreon.

I’ve been posting chapters of Beneath Stained Glass Wings (AKA Poop Dragon AKA the novel that’s been through hell and back again with me) for a few weeks now, and there are also opportunities to see and influence exclusive content for Patrons! Not to mention access to my fanfic stuff earlier than everyone else. And I’m always looking to expand what I offer, so I take suggestions and comments to heart. I know the chances of me being able to support myself doing this are very, very slim, but it’s so amazing to finally be at the point where people care and appreciate my work enough to invest in me and my career. So if you’ve ever enjoyed the content that I put out, and would like to support me and/or read more of my work, please consider checking it out? And if you don’t have the cash to spare (which I totally understand), maybe consider sharing my posting on Tumblr and Twitter?

TLDR; I bucked up and finally started a Patron because fandom ROCKS (and I miss writing original fic), and I want to release all sorts of content for peeps to enjoy. :D


Bacon, out.


Contesting the Contest Hype

I’m gonna start this off totally upfront. I was a mentee in Pitch Wars ’14 and ’15. I’m now a mentor in that same contest, and TeenPit. I was in a buttload of other contests (I forget most, but Googling can bring them up if you want to spend some time stalking around). And, despite all that, I got my agent through traditional querying.

Contests are amazing. I had little by the way of a writing community when I was introduced to the world of Twitter and internet writing contests. I’d never had real deadlines to work under before. The goals I’ve made and lessons I’ve learned are priceless. And that community? I wouldn’t be writing today without it. I wholeheartedly encourage all my writing friends to enter them.

But also, I know a lot of people who have been completely destroyed from them.

They either didn’t get in, or they did get in and they had a bad experience, or they got in but didn’t get an agent, or so many other things. And I get it. No one’s aren’t wrong to feel that way. I’ve been at the bottom of that pit, and it is dark and lonely and awful.

A vast majority of writers I know are rep’d through traditional querying. (And I know a lot of authors from having been involved in so many contests and competitions and forums for over seven years.) Like I said, even I caught my agent’s attention through traditional querying, and before she signed with me I did an revise and resubmit. Which was amazing and made my story immensely better, even after I’d been in Pitch Wars twice. No contest is the end all, be all. There’s so much more to learn, and infinite room to grow no matter if you’ve been in a contest or not.

Please don’t let any contest keep you from writing if it’s what you love. You aren’t a failure if you don’t get into a contest. You’re not a failure if you do get into a contest and don’t requests or representation from it it. You’re not a failure if you got an agent from a contest but still haven’t sold your book.

You wrote a book.

Tell me how many people you know in your personal life who have accomplished writing a novel. There’s probably not a ton. Most people will never understand enough about publishing and editing and revising to get it to the point you do. And the online community you build is the most important part of these contests, but it can be exhausting with mostly good news all the time. Because, yes you’re happy for them, but you feel like you’ll never have your turn.

Please keep writing. Keep querying. Keep listening and learning. Take breaks and don’t worry about them, we all need them from both writing and/or social media. The odds of getting into a large contest are slimmer than getting a request querying an agent, nowadays. The odds of getting rep’d through a contest are then even tinier. It’s not even a guarantee to get rep’d!  I could have entered another Pitch Wars with how long it took for me to sign with my agent.  (Well, I was rep’d for about three months after my first PW, but that’s a long story that did not end well and made everything worse.)

Getting an agent, getting a book deal, getting into contest, it’s all like winning the lottery. For the most part, it’s luck. You can’t know if the judge or mentor you submitted to hates a small trope in your book; you can’t know if the agent was having a bad day; you can’t know if the editor you went on submission to just bought a similar book the day before. But it’s not all luck. The fact that you’ve come so far, that you’re reading this post, that you’re investing so much time in your craft, means you’re increasing your odds.

It’s okay to still pursue your dream even if you didn’t win the lottery this time. The only thing it costs you to try again is time (and, let’s be real, emotional perseverance). Like I said, contests are amazing in how they teach you so much, and that community is what pulled me through some of the worst of my dark times. You should keep entering.

But this is not your end all and be all. Your words are more important than a contest.

You are more important.

I’m sorry this line of work is so rough. But you’re awesome for coming so far.

If you want to share/ramble/word vomit your story, both my ears are open for you in the comments or elsewhere (I get that sometimes talking it out helps). If you want to add on encouragement for anyone who needs it, totally feel free to leave some of those, too.

(I also apologize for the sheer amount of italics in this post. And how messy it is. I have emotions about this.)

Bacon, out.

Deep POV


So, back when I was a wee writer, before this blog was even made and all my posts were on Tumblr, I talked about deep point of view. Pretty much everything I say in that post still holds true. Thought Verbs and Three Easy Steps to Deep POV are still two articles that are invaluable to developing an understanding of deep POV.

But to really get deep POV, we need to go deeper. (ba dum, tss)

Let’s start with what deep POV is. Deep POV is drawing as close to your POV character as you can to give the reader the most immersive experience possible. And wording it like that makes it sound like some magic trick, but that’s what the goal is. You want to create as little wall between your character and your reader. Yes this can work in both third person and first person. No you don’t automatically achieve this by writing in first person. It’s something you consciously do. Unless you’re McTalentpants and already do it.

Now, on the surface level, look at the words you’re using. I used to scoff at filler words. I thought that pretty little roses emerged from my butt as I plopped out new words and that since the sentence I crafted sounded right to me, that it was fine.

As you can guess, I was wrong.

To create as deep an immersion as possible, there are filler words that create distance between your prose and the reader. When you’re thinking throughout the day, do you ever think, “I thought,” “I said,” “I wondered?” No, you just do the thing. And by cutting these words, you enable more room for characterization, world-building, and movement–especially with things like dialog tags. (Watch a movie. Does anyone ever stay still while talking? Your scenes shouldn’t stagnate throughout a conversation, either.) If you want to go all out, here are a couple of giant lists to cut all the filler words. This is my personal list that I always start with:

was, is, even, see, hear, feel, think, just, very, up, down, seem(s), then, that, now, wonder, notice, begins, starts, get, walk, try, only, like, as if, of, really, forward, backward, had, find

Obviously, change tense if you’re in past/present/future/whatever. A couple of other things to watch out for that break reader’s immersion are scene breaks, and italicized thoughts in third person (you shouldn’t be using them in first, period–you’re already narrating from their head, unless you’re implying they never actually think). They’re meant to be used, but with purpose.

All right, now for the part that I didn’t mention in my previous post, and that the posts I link to don’t touch. Let’s go… deeper.

(Please don’t hurt me, I just like puns.)

Every sentence should be infused with your character’s voice. I’m sure you’ve heard this advice before, but rarely have I seen any practical applications of it. Yes, obviously make sure the word choice fits what your character would say. But that doesn’t make it sound like it’s coming from your character’s head.

I swear I’m not all ~hoity toity~ and ~special~ here. Just listing things in a character’s dialog makes it stiff. You might as well be playing a videogame (which I love and have worked in the medium before, but the immersion is different) rather than reading a book. For example, let’s take some action, since that’s the sort of scene that falls into this trap the hardest. I normally sigh when people put in excerpts of their own words as examples, but bear with me:

I kick, and he blocks. I raise my fist again, but he’s faster and gets in the next blow, knocking me down.

It gets the point across. There isn’t much voice, but it’s action, right?

You can do better.

You’re in this character’s head. There’s adrenaline and pain and emotion running through this character’s brain. Every scene, every sentence should have senses, and should have thought. I don’t care about a character that doesn’t care, that doesn’t think–most readers don’t. So you should be using every opportunity you can to show this. Bear with me again as I try to show you what I mean; let’s twist this two different ways.

Sweat drips, stinging in my eyes as I throw my foot forward. He blocks easily, wide grin visible despite my blurred vision. Breath ragged, muscles screaming, jab my fist at his gut–but he blocks it. Again. How am I supposed to prove myself against him? He’s what they say he is: indestructible. His knuckles meet my cheek, the taste and smell of iron flooding my senses. I’m on the ground before I can register falling, dirt caking against my face.

And for a different perspective:

Energy sparks through my body as I kick out–but she catches it. She’s bruised, bloody, half-broken, but she managed to block me. Me. Fire rolls through my veins and I swing, faster than anyone could block.

And yet she knocks my blow off course, nearly keeling over with the force of the blow.

Screw her. Screw this girl who thinks she’s better than me, who thought–

She moves, no flinching for all her wounds, no hesitation as she strikes her fist to my head. Nothing I can do before my world goes black.

Apologies for my trash writing. Now, the same series of events happen in both scenes. In one someone’s giving up, the other someone’s pissed, and hopefully that’s pretty obvious. Now go back and consider that first excerpt. The you get a sense of character through it? But you get any emotion? Any thoughts? I don’t. If we can’t even tell who’s winning, I say that’s a pretty crappy action scene.

I know this is rather nebulous, and it’s hard for me to give you direct advice without seeing your words first. but it’s important, vitally important. Most stories are character driven, and your character can’t drive anything if they aren’t thinking and feeling. So I want you to look at your work, scene by scene, paragraph by paragraph, sentence by sentence, and ask yourself what your character thinks and feels about what’s happening. Is it conveyed in the text, or is it in your head? Be sure you’re combining thinking and action–there are a million reasons behind a smile, but unless you specify that your character is forcing that smile to hide their doubt, or genuinely smiling because they love something, I have no way of knowing. Show me.

Deep POV is all about that immersion, getting your reader as close to the story and the character as possible so they’re invested and right there smack-dab in the story–no matter how uncomfortable it is, or how much more painful it makes the plot twists. The more emotion, the better.

Bacon, out.

Plotter Shmotter, Pantser Plantser

If you’ve been in the writing community for any length of time, you’ve probably heard of plotters and pantsers — people who plot their stories before they write them, and people who write by the seat of their pants.

Thing is, from talking to a lot of writers, it seems like everyone does a mix of things. This pantser outlines a little in advance as they go, or has a short list of major plot points when they start writing. A plotter may use a super loose outline, or knows that nearly everything on it will change by the end. So though most people pick sides like some odd writing sports team, it almost seems like they’re nonexistent.

What I have noticed, though, is that a lot of people who identify as pantsers end up spending a lot of time revising, and tend to enjoy it. And a lot of outliners take their time to create highly polished first drafts and avoid tedious revision they dislike. So, instead of pantsers vs. plotters struggling in an age-old writerly battle, I think something more accurate might be drafters and revisers.

How about you? Do you think you’re a drafter or a reviser? Or do you think I’m totally wrong, and you’re a pantser or a plotter?

Bacon, out.

The Mythical Existence of Writer’s Block

Writer’s block debates seem to come in waves. Lots of arguing about the existence of this apparently mythical psychological state that always ends up bringing out this statement: It doesn’t exist, only weak writers give in to writer’s block!

That one makes me want to scream.

Whether or not you call it writer’s block, I claim it does exist. And I’d go so far to say this mythical beast comes in different breeds:

  • Inadequacy – This is the kind of writer’s block you push through. “But my words suck, but no one cares, but, but, but!” No buts. Or butts, please. Only words. (If your words include butts, they count.) This beast may look big and scary, but is the easiest to conquer—you just have to face it first. This article has a a lot of good advice for knocking this one out.
  • Stuck – This is a toss-up. For me, personally, I need to write through it, because I normally find where I need to go by forcing the absolute worst thing to happen (setting people on fire is a favorite). Some people need to stop, sit, and plot, though. For others, this means they need to go back and edit. Learn how you work, and don’t let this one stop you—even if you aren’t writing words, keep moving forward. This beast is a little grisly, but may end up being an ally in the end. Maggie Stiefvater just posted a great graphic (and another version) of navigating the twists and turns of this battle.
  • Emotional Constipation – Oh, this writer’s block. This is the one that knocks you off your feet when your personal life explodes, or the publishing industry destroys you. It would be so nice if writing could only be a work of love, some magical process that’s entirely rainbows and unicorn poop and catharsis. But, if you’re like me, the greatest reward to writing is having others reading your work. Which adds that lovely, stifling expectation to every word you write. And of course any additional stressors in your life love to add on to it. For this one, I have no answer on how to get right through it. This is the one I feel is the most mythical, evil being of them all, gross and rotting and dripping and oozing with doubt and insecurities. You can try stabbing and punching and screaming at this one, but sometimes it refuses to move off your words, hoarding them just out of reach. And that’s okay. You’re a human (I assume). Sometimes you need to take a break and re-focus, re-charge. Then come back and stab that sucker through the eye socket.

What about you guys? Do you believe in the fabled create called writer’s block? Do you think my list needs to be longer? Wanna share your battle scars?

Bacon, out.

Agent? Agented???

ETA: If you want to read more about the long journey it took to get to this point, check out the guest post I did on the MSWL blog!

So! I have news. Agent news. :D

And of course I’ll post stats and stuff because I know writers must indulge their stalker tendencies. But I also know how many of my friends and followers are fighting the same battle, and how every success story you read about can feel like a hit against your own journey.

It’s like you’re in this field, playing this sport, and there is a stadium of people watching. They’re your writing friends, maybe your family, maybe even an amazing CP or two. These people who all are rooting and invested in you watch you strike out. And strike out again. And again. And again. And you tune in to watch other games and you see people building badass teams and getting home runs, or even more impressive when they get them on their own. And you stand there alone, rookie clothes hanging awkward, dirty, sweaty, gross, and worn on your shoulders. You have friends on your side, but a friend can’t come up to bat for you A friend can’t step up and relieve you of any of the stress and strain. They watch. And they cheer. But after hundreds of games, you don’t hear that cheering anymore. You’re the underdog who’s never touched the ball, never played in a big league game while you watch everyone flying by you. So I know stats and the like aren’t going to help. You’ve just gotta keep playing ball. Unless you need to take a break. I’ve definitely had some huge mental injuries that’ve taken me off the field. And if you ever need to talk, I have ears and I get it and I’d love to listen.

Anyways, I haven’t been at it as long as some. I haven’t written as much as other people. A few people know the special hell the past two years have dragged me through. And I still have a whole heck of a lot ahead of me before the prospect of being published is a real thing. But here’s the numbers behind where I am now:

Seven(ish) years and six(ish) books that were never queried. Then:

Summer Thunder (AKA Poop Dragon/Pitch Wars ’14 MS (Note that this novel was previously represented, and this doesn’t include the stats from before then)):

  • Queries Sent: 136
  • Partials Requested: 10
  • Fulls Requested: 8
  • Rejections: 135
  • R&Rs: 1
  • Offers: 1

Essence/The Magic of Memories (AKA Sassy Stove/ Pitch Wars ’15 novel/a novel that prooobably wasn’t ready to be queried):

  • Queries Sent: 77
  • Partials Requested: 5
  • Fulls Requested: 3
  • Rejections: 77
  • R&Rs: 0
  • Offers: 0

So, yeah! After sending a #MSWL query, then getting and completing a R&R that made my book about a million times better, I signed with Samantha Wekstein of Writers House. You can see my stats weren’t really great. Everybody who wasn’t an agent sung the praises of Poop Dragon,  but I had given up hope. I’m not being dramatic. The query I sent to her was going to be the last one I sent out and then I was just going to shut everything down.

For me, I kinda hate when people say it only takes one because that completely erases the hard work and garbage that comes with getting to that one. I think, it comes down to timing and relentlessness. Because way back when I first starting querying this MS, my now-agent wasn’t taking clients. If I had given up the day before than she posted that tweet, I wouldn’t be here writing this post.

And now I will have the moment I’ve been waiting for:








Bacon, out.


On Why You Should Keep Writing

Alright, so I haven’t been updating my short story project lately. It isn’t because I don’t enjoy them, they’re fun to write. It’s not because I don’t have anything to post, I have like three stories in the file that just need to be edited. It’s because….


(You’re never gonna guess.)

My crippling self-doubt, yaaaay!

“Really, Bacon?” you say. “Didn’t you already write a post or two about this?”

Well, I probably did, but I have some new thoughts. So let me get to my point by way of a round-about story.

Anyone who knows me personally knows that my writing life has been hell for about two years now. I am Murphy’s Law. If it can blow up in my face and cripple me emotionally, you better believe it will and then laugh as I try to crawl back up. Sorry, no gory details because those wounds still sting. Sometimes it does get better, sometimes you can use that anger to beat everything back and move forward. But sometimes you keep getting beaten down and beaten down and beaten down, and that anger dies and becomes a ghost that haunts you with its creation.

You think about it before you go to sleep. You think about it every time you open a document. You think about it every time you hit send on a query. You think about it in the shower, while driving, at work, while eating, while reading, while you’re on the freaking toilet.

It gets to the point where you look for help, you ask anyone you can to help drag you out of the pit and you get the same, meaningless advice. And it’s equally awful to get, “You’ll get there!” as, “Why don’t you just quit?” Because you want permission to stop but you also want to find a reason to keep going and it’s this awful limbo.

So I’m a part of this Twitter DM group, and I I expressed my despair awhile back. It felt like they said (note that I’m emotionally constipated and what they said and what I heard could easily be two different things), “But you’ve gotten into Pitch Wars (a fairly large competition) twice! And you got into those other contests! And you made it into that writing retreat where they only accepted so many applicants! How can you feel this way?”

Which made me angry. And depressed. So I kinda slunk out the back door and ate too much chocolate and had a lot of good crying and played too many video games. (Because I’m a child, apparently.) They just didn’t get it. Sure, I got into these things, but I’ve never made it any farther no matter how hard I try. No one actually cares about the words I’ve written. I’ve gotten to the point I wonder if any of my critique partners give a damn.

And that brings me to today. I’m still at a low point. It’s hard to think about writing. Hope is a dangerous drug I’d like to ignore, please and thank you. But this morning I saw there were new messages I will probably ignore in the Twitter group, and then in the next second I saw Victoria Schwab’s post on being an “overnight success.” And I naturally I got a couple paragraphs in and huffed and puffed when I saw that she got an agent on her first book (I’ve written six or seven books in at least in as many years of taking this business seriously, with one agent that didn’t stay for very long), and then it hit me. I’m feeling the same way that Twitter group felt when they saw me despairing. I’d hit the level of “success” they’d dreamed of. And there I was whining and complaining I hadn’t gone far enough.

Does that make my struggle any less real? No. But it brought what I’ve been able to accomplish back into focus. I have done some things to be a little proud of and to be thankful for. And maybe if there’s someone actually reading this word vomit, maybe you’re thinking, “Well whoop-dee-do, you’ve done more than me and you’re just realizing it. What a special snowflake you are.”

Some day you might be in my shoes. You might be in my shoes right now, observing my spoiled-bratty-ness. I’m sure you’ve done something worth being proud of. Maybe you’ve gotten a request for a full manuscript. Maybe you’ve found a critique partner that loves your words. And above that, maybe you’ve written. I know that fact becomes static when you’re surrounded by writers oozing out of every corner of the internet, but take this from a writer who hasn’t made it anywhere near the top: go walk down a crowded street and remind yourself that you may be the only one there who can call themselves a writer. That’s something.

If you don’t learn how to be proud of what you’ve done right now, you’re going to be miserable. Because life sucks. Writing sucks even more. And if you don’t believe what you’ve done matters, no one else is going to do that for you.

It really made me understand what those authors mean when they say that having a book deal or an agent changes nothing. Because on a subconscious level, I still think it has to change something.

But it doesn’t change enough to matter. There’s nothing that will magically make you “enough.” You do that.

So maybe think about this for awhile. Maybe don’t. It’s up to you. If you’ve stalked me long enough, you know that I write in an attempt to bring a little itty bitty piece of magic into the world, and I’m still not sure my writing does that so I don’t know where I stand. But maybe me rambling out my feelings will help somebody else.

We’ll see.

Bacon, out.


Madcap Madness

Alright, everyone and their cat wants to know how the freaking fantabulous Madcap’s Aspiring Writer Retreat was. Now I won’t (and can’t, because I’m famous for my crap memory) share all the presentations and writerly cheat codes they shared, but I can ramble about how cool it was and what it meant to me. Yay?

Well, first off, a list of the amazing published authors that were there: Maggie Stiefvater, Renée Ahdieh, Dhonielle Clayton, Tessa Gratton, Sarah Henning, Justina Ireland, Myra McEntire, Julie Morphy, Natalie C. Parker, Carrie Ryan, Victoria Schwab, Courtney C. Stevens, and Brenna Yovanoff.

Every single one was amazing and had super freaking awesome things to say. From ideas,  plotting, revising, critiquing, characters, and world-building — you name the writing process, we probably talked about it.

It’s always fascinating to see how authors do things differently, no matter how many times I’ve read about revision or listened to podcasts about world building. There’s no one right way to do something. And as writing seems to be a constantly shifting puzzle of trying to find a right path to do the thing, seeing and learning so much from so many people was absolutely priceless even if I did know a lot of the concepts they covered. Because I don’t care how many years you’ve been writing, every good writer I know gets obsessed with a piece of the whole picture from time to time. Which is great for a while, but you need to remember what the core of writing is:

Being a creator, and telling that story.

Which was what this thing was all about, and what I totally needed.

You see, the next post on my blog was going to be a very ugly “I’m quitting writing” post. My finger’s been hovering over the “publish” button on that for a long time. It’s not that I’ve wanted to quit writing, it’s that I saw no other option with the hellish writing year I’ve had. I’m not going into details (you got lucky this time, non-existent audience), but I thought it was going to take a miracle to get me writing, and if I could’ve gotten a full refund for the retreat, I wouldn’t have gone.

Now, no miracles happened. I mean, Maggie’s cool and magical and all, but I think she was using all her innate powers keeping together that Nissan she bought while she was there (nope, not kidding). But the coolest thing about a retreat like this, even though there were forty-something odd people there, was that I got a lot of personal time talking to the authors and getting their opinions on things. Specifically the ugly little varmints running around my mind lately. And just like how everyone has a different way of writing things, everyone had different advice for me. Weirdly, it was all on point.

I’ve got a lot of thinking and work to do, but I’m going to try some things out. I’m not giving up yet because I love it too much to let it go. And I’ve inherited being as stubborn as a rock from my mom (thanks, mom).

So yep. The food was fabulous, the sessions were amazing, the location was beautiful, and the writers were the freaking best. Then when it was over we set boxes on fire and we took some of the ash home to perform writing rituals and it was great.

If you can, I totally recommend going to one of these things. I would be all over the next thing Madcap does (they don’t have it on their site yet, but you can sign up for the newsletter for when they do) except for, you know, being dead broke after this one. I mean, come on. Who doesn’t want to play a game of giant (Court) Jenga?

2016-03-14 20.39.39

Bacon, out.


The Fate of the Starry-Eyed Princess…

Yes, the new chapter is coming! No, I have zero ideas when I’ll be able to post it — if I were in a state I trusted myself to self-edit I’d have it up now. But my brain is currently made of mucus.

On a side note, I’m curious if anyone out there is reading and really enjoying it? Should I continue this project or quit while I’m ahead? I could always start another short story project again. There have been a some of you that have been great about giving prompts! But I don’t have much feedback to run off of, and I don’t want to drag the few of you along on something you don’t enjoy. Either way, my brain has hit such a wall I might take a hiatus from it. Anyhow, what do you guys think?:


THANK YOU everyone who votes! If I don’t get too much of a response, I’ll take that as an answer, too. I’ll also attempt to come up with other content to post (Maybe I know how to do something other than to tell weird stories?), but I’ll let you know later.

Bacon, out.