Secret Santa Story: Sidekick

So, since I have no talent other than writing for the Secret Santa exchange (AND THEN THE SECRET SANTA SITE ATE ALL MY QUESTIONS), I decided to steal a bunch of my victim’s random tweets and RTs to create, uh… a different sort of story. :’D Merry Christmas with this not-Christmas-related-at-all story, Alex?

A whirring and ticking wakes me from my sleep. I flail, getting tangled so bad in my blankets that I flop onto the floor and, wrapped in my comforter, worm myself from my room and slyly creep down the hallway until I catch sight of… the desktop computer.

“Did I really?” I collapse into a heap on the floor, snort-giggling into the carpet. I’m a superhero for heaven’s sake. I guess it’s just been one of those days. Or, well, two days now since it’s three in the morning. First it started off with those stupid lawyer ads on TV freaking me out — they just get under my skin, I dunno why. Then I got up to make myself a comfort quesadilla, because cheesy goodness is the best sort of comfort food, and there was no cheese in the fridge.

So for once I get off my lazy bum and face the cold and the holiday shoppers to go get some from the store when who do I see? The crush. Jamie. Standing in the cheese aisle. I try to make conversation but the words come out all weird because I’m super thirsty and let me tell you that thirst was real. He was polite and understanding and maybe even seemed a little amused? But oh man did that make it unpleasant.

Then, worst of all, that’s when the little leaf around my neck started rattling and then the super villain of the day decides to bust into the store screaming about being Luke Skywalker or something as he starts using what he calls “the force” to throw watermelons at people. I call it the darkness, but whatever works.

Anyway, then I have to run away from Jamie and transform into my superhero form, sadly named Bean Pole by the local newspapers, and start fighting. Naturally the annoying sidekick comes up, weirdly named Cookie Monster, and by the time were done, of course Jamie’s vacated the area.

Bad guy taken care of, cheese acquired, I go home and just eat it from the bag. What does it matter? I can’t even defeat a guy so consumed by darkness he doesn’t know who he really is without the stupid sidekick I don’t even want. And even cruddier, I know I’ll never build up the courage to ask out Jamie. It’s been months.

I collapse on the floor of my apartment. Yeah, sure, it’s the happiest time of the year. If you spend it locked up at home with your cats.

The leaf on the thin twine of my necklace starts vibrating gently against my collarbone.

I look up and glare at the plant across the room. “What?”

Thousands of different flowers and leaves part from the beautiful chaos in the middle of the plant to show the vague face at the middle of the small shrub. “Well that was rude.” Flora frowns.

I let my face fall and mumble into the carpet, “I’m sorry.”

The leaf purrs against me. “It’s fine. You had a rough day, I’m sorry.”

With a sigh, I heft myself up, and become a lump of blanket on the floor. “No, I’m sorry. I’m not good enough for this.”


“Superhero nonsense, you know.”

Flora shakes her leaves violently. “You really think I would have picked wrong? After searching for so long?”

“I…” I dunno. “But I’m just… me.”

Exactly.” She calms down. “You are more than enough. You are you. I chose you, hand-picked you out of billions to be my friend and my partner and the one I entrusted to destroy the darkness. You are important.”

Tears prick at my eyes. “You’re just saying that.”

She snorts. “Yeah. Obviously I can’t just take your powers back if I thought you weren’t good enough.”

“B-but I can’t even defeat, well, anyone without Cookie Monster’s help!”

“People aren’t made to work alone, my dear.” I can hear the smile her voice. “Very few living things are. I mean, I need you, too. You wanted this so badly when you first started, and I know that flame is still there. You’ve got this.”

I scowl. “I can’t even ask Jamie out.”

“Oh, well I can help with that.” Flora smiles, and waves toward the window.

I lift my head and find a figure in total black perched on the balcony off my apartment, silver claws glinting against the railing in the moonlight.

At first I glare. What the heck is Cookie Monster doing here? Who invited him? I mean, I spend enough time with him during the day, believe me. I —

Wait. Why is he here when I’m not in my superhero get-up?

Half in a daze I step out of my blanket nest and open the door to the balcony, light snow rifting in, glittering in the haze of the city light.

His fingers tighten around the metal bar. “So, um, I guess introductions aren’t needed?”

I blink “Uh… What?”

He gives a small grin, not his usual grin, but more like…

Oh. My. God.

With careful, slow fingers, he takes the edges of his mask that I’ve always thought was so annoying, and reveals beneath it the drop-dead gorgeous face of Jamie.

“How?” I barely whisper, squinting up at his face, trying to make sure it’s real.

“Well, when you were talking at the grocery store earlier, you wouldn’t stop talking about cheese. And there’s only one other person I know who’s that obsessed with cheese.”

I start laughing, and he does too. It begins as a giggle and grows until I’m leaning on the door out of breath, and he nearly falls off of railing. I catch him, his face inches from mine. I don’t move away, I can’t help it. You’d think there would be something repelling in the fact that he’s the person that’s annoyed me for so long, but there’s not. He was never mean to me, he was always just at the wrong place at the right time. He’s always had my back. He’s always cared.
And those eyes, and that body and those lips…

He leans forward. Our lips touch and I don’t feel the cold anymore, only wonderful, amazing, heat.

You know, I guess I don’t mind having a sidekick that much.

Prompts Stolen:

◦    ive been yelling at myself all day in an amused slightly flabbergasted sort of way x
◦    have a holly jolly christmas it’s the best time of the year say hello to cats you know and absolutely no one else x
◦    all our lives, girls are conditioned w impossible ideals. the heartbeat of female friendship is: you are enough, we are enough, I’m with you x
◦    just cried over a tree alien life’s good x
◦    and the saddest fear comes creeping in that we’re out of cheese x
◦    “the thirst is real” x
◦    lawyer ads on tv always freak me out idk why  x
◦    it’s almost 3am, i just heard a random noise and started to freak out before i realized it’s the home computer x
◦    i can’t believe im luke skywalker x
◦    “Whatever you are physically…male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy–all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.” ― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

Author’s Note:

I hope that was someone terrible and you don’t totally hate me now? :’D It’s weird, I’ve never written anything with such a specific audience in mind. Anyhow, MERRY CHRISTMAS, FROND, I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING ONE!!!

Bacon, out.


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