Two Kinds of Butter

So a few days ago, I made a Butterball turkey for dinner.


It was basted in butter, grapefruit juice (and rinds), balsamic vinegar, black peppercorns, basil, paprika and sage.

Jealous, huh, huh?

Well, it was kinda a packed day for me. I was trying to finish a book because another book I was reeaaaally looking forward to was coming out the next day, and then all my friends wanted to talk RIGHT THEN (which, I love all of them, but all at once?) while basting my lovely turkey.

But there’s always something to lighten the mood at my house.

I was viciously typing away at something or other when my mom asked me if I would like her to grab some chocolate for me while she was out.

Um, yes?

So she asks me what kind followed by, “You know, some studies say that milk chocolate has the same benefits as dark chocolate.”

To which I say, “Yeah, but milk has more sugar and cocoa butter.”

So she slaps her butt. “I love my cocoa butter.”

“Yes, you have nice cocoa butter.”

Then back to turkey basting.


So, my dad (who works the graveyard shift) gets up and glancing up from my book I see he has a big ol’ shiner (aka a black eye).

Feeling smart, I asked, “Who’d you get into a bar fight with?”

“A jar of pickles.”

A jay of pickles. How do you even. Nope. Still don’t know.

Anyhow, by that point, I’d made it through the day, and I had my lovely turkey.


How about you? Have any weird family stories that get you through the day?

Bacon, out.


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